Future Meatballs


[EN] Last year, a Swedish company launched an idea-contest to try to imagine the meatballs that people would eat in the future. Even if they’re more difficult to create, here are my visions for some alternative meta-meatball recipes:

Ice Age Balls: Catered for the tastes of « Paleo-Diet » revisionists, Ice Age Balls are produced from various lean cuts of several species of mammals from the pleistocene that have been re-introduced on Europe’s plains: the woolly mammoth, the woolly rhinoceros, the European bison, the giant deer… All of these creatures are kept in PaleoParks Europe reserves, fed only with wild plants and are killed in an humane way after being sedated.

Holobiotic healthballs: The ultimate superfood experience, these miraculous bite-sized grain balls contains a mixture of ten of the most healthy ingredients in the world, including Spirulina flakes, hydrated chia seeds, coconut oil, kombucha extract and maca root. They’re totally vegan, but have been rolled in baobab fruit flour before being ultra-flash-fried in order to preserve their nutriments while giving them that meatball look.

Jellyfish Umeboshi Meatballs: As sea temperatures rise, jellyfish are becoming increasingly present on the oceans, turning into a plague. These surprisingly tasty snacks make use of marinated jellyfish meat mixed with agar (for consistency) and a salty heart of red algae and umeboshi. Marketed for the Asian market.

Synthetic Seal Ice Cream: This revisited version of an Arctic classic makes use of synthetic (lab-grown) seal blood and fat, mixed with foraged berries. Organic and fair trade Bourbon vanille and subtle cardamon flavours have been added in order to adapt this recipe to contemporary tastes.

Iridescent Fungiballs: Made from single, round, iridescent mushrooms (modified through artificial selection), these polychrome surfaced fake meatballs have a strong umami flavour and gently melt in the mouth. Served with home-made teriyaki sauce.

Edible Pine-wood Blocks: These savory treats have been created by treating blocks of pine wood submerged into tanks with enzymes that digest cellulose into starch. Then, the resulting nutriments have been rearranged into sweet edible blocks soaked in birch sap jam for extra health benefits.

Project Z meatballs: creating food from source materials through a totally artificial cell environnement is the feat achieved with these meatballs, of which the proteins have been assembled by ‘molecular robots’ based on engineered DNA sequences borrowed from different animal, plant and fungi species. So you cannot really relate them to any particular living being, since they have been designed almost from scratch to produce the most protein from the most reduced ressources.


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