Martinique – Nature Morte

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[FR] Août 2015.

[ES] Agosto de 2015.

[EN] August 2015.

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Your Human(TM) Pet Care Instructions

[FR] Désolé, cet article est disponible uniquement en anglais.

[ES] Lo siento, este artículo sólo está disponible en inglés.

[EN] Sorry, this article is only available in English.

1526humantm[EN] Dear fellow Venusian,

HumansTM are independent yet delicate creatures. Please follow these instructions thoroughly to keep your HumanTM healthy and happy.

1) Nutrition: HumansTM are omnivorous creatures, which means they can eat all sorts of food. Provide your human with an all-purpose HumanTM granulated food. You can also complement its diet with fresh grains, vegetables, meat and even some fish, but don’t use Venusian food or plants which can be toxic for them. For extra fun, install a kitchen its cage and watch it cook its own food. Some rare breeds of HumanTM are vegetarian, in this case, ask your local pet shop for special supplies. Always give HumansTM a source of fresh water.

2) Hygiene: wash your HumanTM once a week by using pressurized water. Some Humans(TM) enjoy taking baths, so a pond in its case may be useful. Remember also to change the hay on their beds once a month.

3) Entertainment: HumansTM are curious creatures and are easily entertained. Set a couple of exercise machines in its cage to keep it fit and healthy. Install a TV near its bed to keep it quiet, but don’t forget to turn it off regularly to avoid your Human(TM) turn lazy and fat. Some keepers have tried to raise two or more HumansTM in the same cage. Be careful, as they are highly aggressive and territorial animals and they could attempt to kill each other. Ask your pet shop owner to find the most suitable combination of them to be kept together.

4) Health: HumansTM fall sick very easily, so it is important to protect them from sun exposure (by giving them umbrellas during the summer) and from low temperatures (by using blankets). If the cage is too humid or dirty, HumansTM can catch many diseases, so be sure to clean all their dejections regularly. Bring your HumanTM to the veterinary as soon as you see it behaving strangely. Average HumanTM life in captivity is 60 years, but some pet owners have managed to keep them even for 90 years. Follow these simple instructions and your HumanTM will grow strong.

Enjoy your HumanTM pet.